Michael Sloyer

📍Tokyo, Japan | Life/executive coach at Upbuild

📝 Editor’s Note | Rob Belk

This past weekend, I went to Boulder, Colorado. I’m grateful to my wife who stayed home with our kids so I could see one of my closest friends get married (congrats Sether and Liz!).

I really enjoyed catching up with old friends from grad school as well as exploring Boulder. The wedding weekend coincided with parents weekend and a home football game for the Buffs. There is something about the energy I feel walking around a college campus that will never get old for me. And watching the Panthers beat the Falcons 30-0 on Sunday in an epic Boulder dive bar (Dark Horse) is something that will truly never get old.

The morning of the wedding I had the chance to hike the Royal Arch trail, in spitting distance from campus. A stairmaster type hike with a huge payoff. Beautiful weather, a strenous exercise, 90s rock playlist, and breathtaking views. An awesome start and memory from Sether’s wedding day.

Without further ado, this week’s profile…

Why Michael?

I stumbled upon Michael’s annual letter, which is sent each year under the title “the [Year] edition of (almost) everything I know about having a better quality of life.” It is an amazing download of interesting recommendations and lessons. Given the quality and uniqueness of his writing, I immediately wanted to profile him for Rambull. Michael has a rich life story, with many impressive chapters, including being valedictorian of his 2008 undergrad class at Duke.

Connect with Michael on LinkedIn

Self-Description

Former Goldman Sachs exec turned coach. Now at Upbuild, a leadership development firm born in a NYC monastery. In my coaching work, I help people clarify what matters most to them and who they are, then hold them accountable so they can live more meaningful and effective lives.

Michael’s 6 Recommendations

Written in his own words…

1. Yogibo Max

Couch, chair, and bed…all in a bean bag.

The Yogibo Max is like being hugged by a cloud that understands your spinal insecurities. With abundant possibilities for positioning oneself (horizontal, diagonal, existential), it’s a great spot to read to the kids or do some soul-searching.

2. Climbing Mt. Fuji…naked…in the winter

When I received an invitation from a friend, who is a certified Wim Hof instructor, to climb Mt. Fuji without any clothes in the winter, the opportunity ticked too many boxes for me to decline.

I would later find out that Mt. Fuji wasn’t technically open in the winter, that we would need to climb in crampons (a traction device for ice that I had never used before), and that the official Japanese website warns of extreme kiken (danger) for those climbing outside of the summer season. But, by that point, I had said yes, and there were simply too many (ego) identities at stake for me to change my response.
I didn’t have any major epiphanies during the experience. It was cold, my body sent me a lot of signals that I wasn’t safe, and I survived. I also made some friends, which was nice. Making friends seems to be easier when clothes and oxygen levels are kept to a minimum.

3. Internal Family Systems - My Parts

My experience with Internal Family Systems (IFS), both as a receiver and a practitioner, has been remarkable. The idea behind IFS is that we are made up of multiple "parts'' or sub-personalities, each with their own roles, characteristics, and emotions. These parts are like an inner family; they can work together but also experience conflict and may wreak havoc in our lives. A key understanding is that even the most destructive parts have a positive intention for us. When we get to know our parts and their positive intentions (best done with guidance from a practitioner), we can become friends with our parts and heal them, which allows us to have a much better life.
Here are examples of parts that I have identified for myself:

• The Trader. The part of me that always tries to get the best deal. The cost is transactional relationships and the objectification of other people. The positive intent is that this part wants me to have financial security and to never get taken advantage of.

• Ambitious Mikey. The part of me that tries to be the center of attention and relentlessly compete for accolades. The cost is a hyperfocus on winning, less fun, and others not wanting to be around me. The positive intent is that this part wants me to feel valued, acknowledged, and loved.

• Johnny Anger. The part of me that causes me to lose my temper when situations don't go my way. The cost is wasted time being angry, people fear me, and disconnection. The positive intent is that this part wants me to advocate for my needs and to avoid feeling helplessness and shame.

The mind-blowing thing about IFS is that we are not our parts. For a deeper dive and to see how this works in a practical way, listen to this podcast. If you feel called to start doing some of this work yourself, please get in touch.

4. Photosynthesis for People

In a blog post on productivity, Sam Altman wrote that using a full-spectrum LED light for 10 minutes in the morning while reading emails was a “ridiculous gain,” so I obviously had to try it. It’s hard to know if it is the placebo effect, but I do feel extra productive with a fake sun blasting my face during meditation. Worst case, I’m a well-lit overachiever. Best case, I’ve hacked my circadian rhythm and achieved peak human performance.

5. The Prayer Our Family Says Every Night Before Dinner

A non-denominational way to say grace, inspired by something I read at a monastery.

We are grateful for the blessings that have been given to us.
We are grateful for this food, which sustains our body and our mind.
We are grateful for the work and effort of those who made this meal possible.
Thank you to Mother Nature for the beautiful environment, animals, and trees all around us.
May we be surrounded by love always, and may we offer that to others.

6. Travel optimization accessories

• Nylon mesh zipper bags. For staying organized.

• Mini dropper bottles. For saline solution. Critical in my quest to travel with the smallest possible dopp kit.

• USB-C to USB-A and USB-A to USB-C adapters. To avoid the usual port drama.

• Lotion containers. The American Psycho skincare routine requires a lot of lotions.

Bonus: Imagination as the Path of the Spirit: John O’Donohue

Here are some of the insights I most appreciated:

• A blank white page is the best mirror

• No one can take care of your inner world except you

• We only change when the suffering of not changing is greater than the suffering of changing

• A deathbed is a great place to feel alive

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Plug | Coaching Certification Program and 1:1 Coaching

Coaching Certification Program

Coaching skills are not just for coaches. They are for anyone who wants to become a better leader, manager, parent, partner, or friend. Our flagship six-month Coaching Certification Program begins October 18th, and we have a few spots open. Our graduates range from early-career professionals at startups to small business owners, team leaders, and executives at larger organizations.

1:1 Coaching

The deepest coaching focuses on the distinction between the ego (who we think we should be) and the self (who we actually are). We want to be able to recognize the ego so that we can be our true self. Coaching can lead to this uncovering of who we are and living as we are. If you are interested in working with me, you can find out more here.

Want to get in touch with Michael? Email at michael@upbuild.com or LinkedIn

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P.S. from Rambull — In Boulder, my friend Cole and I were walking Pearl Street and popped into the Norrana store (I embarrassed Cole by asking the sales associate a bunch of questions about the store’s business model). I recognized the brand from my friends Christina and Henrik, who live in Oslo, where the brand is based. Norrana makes high-end outdoor technical gear. I dig the logo.