š Editorās Note
Right on queue with my ādad tipsā last week, our second child was born on Thursday.
In an effort to update my tips, I asked the labor and delivery nurse for her favorite examples of husbands being extra doting on their wives. Expecting something involving foot massages or food, I was surprised to hear the nurse share:
Just be present.
I thought that was a great recommendation and one to keep in mind with all of our relationships.
Without further adoā¦.
Why Carrie?
Carrie is one of my wifeās closest friends and someone Iāve really enjoyed getting to know. Iām thankful for people like Carrie that have gone into therapy for their profession. She also has a cool background out of college, spending time in Central America.
Follow Carrie on Instagram @therapycarrie
Self-Description
Enneagram Nine therapist with a passion for delving into the human psyche. Obsessed with hunting for hidden treasures in thrift stores & always up for the next spontaneous adventure.
Carrieās Recommendations
Written in her own wordsā¦
Professional
The Enneagram
Depending on where you first heard about it you might have a very different idea of what the Enneagram is, most people tend to think of it as a personality typing system (which is one purpose) yet it has a lot more depth than shown on social media. When used correctly, the Enneagram can be a map to better understanding ourselves and our unique pathways for growth and development. Itās been one of the most transformational tools for me personally, and can help you understand more about what makes you tick, as well as have more compassion and understanding for the important people in your life.
There are tons of tests online, which are a great starting point but honestly itās more about doing the work to reflect on your internal core motivations and for some people it can take more time to land on your type. I highly recommend The Essential Enneagram for a short, concise book (that includes a test) or The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up for a more in-depth look. The Enneagram Institute is also a great place to learn more.
Travel
Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca, Mexico
I was recently in Mexico City for a week and I had a few extra days so when I met an expat who highly recommended flying to Puerto Escondido, I booked a last minute flight for the next day with zero regrets. From CDMX it was an easy (and cheap) flight. Think Tulum ~20 years ago before it became so commercialized. Thereās something for everyone - surf, release baby sea turtles, swim with bioluminesce or dolphins, scuba dive, great food, etc. Iād recommend staying in La Punta for more laidback, beach vibes.
Food & Drink
If my fruit is starting to go bad, (or if Iām just craving it) IāllI throw my fruit in the blender and make homemade agua fresca (a traditional Mexican drink). Think - strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, mango. Add lime, water and a little sugar.
Well-Being
Do āartā
I was recently reminded in an article about how one of the best ways to reduce stress is to make āartā . Study after study has shown that painting, drawing, doodling, coloring, or simply creating something for 20 minutes reduces cortisol levels. I keep art supplies in my living room so Iām more likely to reach for them and often paint/ doodle over the same canvas. Itās a challenge to my perfectionism not to care about what it looks like - yet the act of creating itself is what reduces stress.
Brand
Thrifting
As mentioned, Iāve become obsessed with thrifting and shopping secondhand. The thrill of the hunt is seriously addicting, plus itās great for my wallet and for the environment. I pop into my local thrift stores frequently when Iām nearby but my favorite is going to estate sales. You get the added bonus of seeing inside other peopleās homes and the story of their items! It's also a great way to try out a new style of clothing or home decor, knowing I can always replace it down the road.
Content
The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul
I highly recommend this book, especially if you identify as being highly sensitive. This actually may be the book I recommend the most in my therapeutic work. Her approach feels like a warm hug and breath of fresh air, plus even Alanis Morrisette digs it ( I recently saw Alanis at Austin City Limits music festival a few weeks ago and was blown away by how phenomenal she was live).
āThe Wisdom of Anxiety serves as a well-lit pathway to the truth of who we are and to how to navigate life when paralyzed by anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and a sense of hopelessness.ā āAlanis Morissette, singer-songwriter
Plug
If youāre looking to dive deeper into the Enneagram, or if youāre still stuck trying to figure out your type, I offer individual typing interviews, as well as 1:1 coaching. For corporate settings I also offer customized workshops tailored to the goals of your group/team. It's a great team building activity to facilitate deeper understanding and learn how to communicate and give feedback more effectively. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you're curious - I'd love to chat about ways we can work together!
Find out more by clicking here.
Want to get in touch with Carrie? Feel free to reach out at connect@carrietorn.com
P.S. Here is the link to review all of the recommended specialists from a few weeks ago. I received a small handful but I also had several people reach out to me curious to get recommendations. Seems like there is an opportunity if anyone knows of a resource for getting authentic peer-based recommendations for specialistsā¦
@mallykgoldman (on instagram) recently crowdsourced therapist recs! there is a google sheet linked in her highlights.